The Excavation

abillionbeautifulbutterflies

With every bit that I loved you, I

paved a path into my heart with your image,

your eye freckles,

with the scent

of your vetiver,

the touch

of our foreheads,

the sound of

         you laughing

with the school kids, singing

… playing the piano, the guitar.

      Deeper and deeper I dug you- us, in.

Paving.

I excavated a tunnel into my deepest foundation and filled it with us.

We laid out plans…

with no patience and to get a head start, I excavated more than we could fill,

                                                 I excavated 50 years ahead.

I was somewhere over there,

farther from here and                  closer to ahead and couldn’t see or hear…

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Yellow Rose

abillionbeautifulbutterflies

In high school, I knew a couple who had a very sweet relationship. I believe it to have been genuine love and admiration. They made a deal- if one was going to break up with the other- he or she would gift, her or him, a yellow rose- a sign of friendship. This is my yellow rose to my- him.

I got caught up again. To be fair- I was rather suckered in- I DID make a choice- whether subconsciously or not- to play the sucker- though I tried not to, I convinced myself I wasn’t going to- I even said it out loud to him. But… he was even more convincing and who doesn’t want to live in a fancy fairytale? I told him- I don’t fall head over heals in love- especially not on the first date- or the second. But he was 41 years old and an avid…

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