via Erotic & Fetish.
Laugh Out Loud Hilarious!
All men secretly desire boundary-pushing action when they’re parking the pink bus in the fur garage! This holiday season, wake up that hibernating harlot within and shaboink him into oblivion.
Contort your facial expression so grotesquely that you look like you’ve warped the nerve endings in your face. With a little practice, you’ll resemble a mime choking on a large piece of steak. Alternate between sticking out your tongue and baring your teeth. Every time he looks at you, he should see another creature from The Twilight Zone having a stroke.
Substitute your garden variety moans and sighs with more enthusiastic calls of the wild. Squawk like a kangaroo high on PCP riding a rollercoaster.
For those of us who are well endowed, particularly if your breasts have a nice sag to them, try this: standing at the foot of the bed, put a hand under each breast, and start flapping them up and…
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Ever since the appearance of Fifty Shades of Grey, the worst book to have ever sold 100 million copies worldwide, everyone is writing erotica.
I don’t want to discuss this Idiot Book, the fact that Anastasia is a virgin who orgasms 20 times an hour, never worries about getting a urinary tract infection or somehow made it through college without owning a LAPTOP.
Bad erotica is sprouting up everywhere. All of it hackneyed and formulaic.
The characters are always flawless. Or if they have flaws, they are so endearing they make the character even more adorable.
For women,”clumsy” is the most popular endearing flaw. For the record, I am clumsy. It’s a pretty glaring flaw. There’s nothing sexy about. I fall down, smack my head on things, injure myself frequently and am generally shocked to still be alive.
Last week, in a meeting with a group of men, I dropped my pen…
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Here is Part One of Watching Her Fun, with a free epub file here, and a mobi file here. The full work, in three parts, is now available on Amazon [US], Amazon [Canada], and Amazon [UK] and other Amazon sites.
I came to high as hell and kind of vague as to where I was and what was happening, but as the room spun back into shape it was clear that this was the reality: My wife, Jenn, was on all fours getting pumped at both ends by two guys I didn’t know, while I was tied to a chair getting my cock sucked by some big-titted Amy she went to school with. It took a few seconds to remember how we got here, and how it all began.
Last year we moved to Newton, a town on the coast near where Jenn went…
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A lot of this I’m going to be vague or lie about, but the basic thing is all true.
When I was still a kid my mom died, and when I was in high school my dad, in most respects a monumental fuck-up, married this 25-year old, a woman called Jenny. He was already over 50, and she was gone less than two years later, but in that time she’d made quite an impression.
Two things I can tell you about Jenny might explain this, beyond that she was hot as fuck – long legs, slim figure, great smile and wardrobe like a hooker: the time I found her porn, and the time I caught her screwing the pool guy.
Now I was into my stepmom, but I was a regular high school kid and had other interests, so when she and dad went away for a long…
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