Life is gooooood.

Slept til 1 pm. Ate $2, 50 cent spare rib and noodle from the local Chinese cafe in what will be an extension of China town Brooklyn in five years. Road my bike 3 miles in the sunshine, brick row houses with metal balcony railings, Hasidik Jews, Italian cologne, double parking, and Chinese seafood. And litter. And traffic lights every other block. I tailgated a sweatshirt hooded white boy bumpin hip hop out his cigarette smoking window as he turned the corner; I tried not to smash his car with my bicycle. I stripped naked and jerked off to a few hours of Netflix, cumming about 10 times. It’s raining and thundering now. I should do something productive. Two lamps cast that perfect yellow light. Sitting cross legged on the couch writing stories on my lap top, with only my horned rimmed glasses on- listening to honking and thunderous rain. Best life ever.


A wee bit o’ a pansy shag

“Hey honey…I’m going to brush my teeth and then I’d like to have sex. It’s okay with me if it becomes romantic, but I’m really just interested in a shag. Okay? So get ready and don’t be a pansy.” …She said.

The Excavation


With every bit that I loved you, I

paved a path into my heart with your image,

your eye freckles,

with the scent

of your vetiver,

the touch

of our foreheads,

the sound of

         you laughing

with the school kids, singing

… playing the piano, the guitar.

      Deeper and deeper I dug you- us, in.


I excavated a tunnel into my deepest foundation and filled it with us.

We laid out plans…

with no patience and to get a head start, I excavated more than we could fill,

                                                 I excavated 50 years ahead.

I was somewhere over there,

farther from here and                  closer to ahead and couldn’t see or hear…

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Yellow Rose


In high school, I knew a couple who had a very sweet relationship. I believe it to have been genuine love and admiration. They made a deal- if one was going to break up with the other- he or she would gift, her or him, a yellow rose- a sign of friendship. This is my yellow rose to my- him.

I got caught up again. To be fair- I was rather suckered in- I DID make a choice- whether subconsciously or not- to play the sucker- though I tried not to, I convinced myself I wasn’t going to- I even said it out loud to him. But… he was even more convincing and who doesn’t want to live in a fancy fairytale? I told him- I don’t fall head over heals in love- especially not on the first date- or the second. But he was 41 years old and an avid…

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finite lovers


He fucked her on the beach. Deep and smooth. With every breath and bead of salty sweat they mimicked the winds of a 1,000 miles; the salt of 1,000 leagues. And when she came- she could not escape the finitude of granulation. She simply crumbled into sand; no matter his effort- he could not grasp her as she slipped between his fingers. The wind blew her away- an afternoon sand storm.

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Samara’s Bad-Girl Sex Tips

Laugh Out Loud Hilarious!

A Buick in the Land of Lexus


All men secretly desire boundary-pushing action when they’re parking the pink bus in the fur garage! This holiday season, wake up that hibernating harlot within and shaboink him into oblivion.


Contort your facial expression so grotesquely that you look like you’ve warped the nerve endings in your face. With a little practice, you’ll resemble a mime choking on a large piece of steak. Alternate between sticking out your tongue and baring your teeth. Every time he looks at you, he should see another creature from The Twilight Zone having a stroke.


Substitute your garden variety moans and sighs with more enthusiastic calls of the wild. Squawk like a kangaroo high on PCP riding a rollercoaster.
For those of us who are well endowed, particularly if your breasts have a nice sag to them, try this: standing at the foot of the bed, put a hand under each breast, and start flapping them up and…

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Samara’s Bad-Girl Guide to Writing Erotica

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

woman-writing-erotica 2

Ever since the appearance of Fifty Shades of Grey, the worst book to have ever sold 100 million copies worldwide, everyone is writing erotica.

I don’t want to discuss this Idiot Book, the fact that Anastasia is a virgin who orgasms 20 times an hour, never worries about getting a urinary tract infection or somehow made it through college without owning a LAPTOP.

Bad erotica is sprouting up everywhere. All of it hackneyed and formulaic.

The characters are always flawless. Or if they have flaws, they are so endearing they make the character even more adorable.

For women,”clumsy” is the most popular endearing flaw. For the record, I am clumsy. It’s a pretty glaring flaw. There’s nothing sexy about. I fall down, smack my head on things, injure myself frequently and am generally shocked to still be alive.

Last week, in a meeting with a group of men, I dropped my pen…

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Watching Her Fun – Part One

PB Rider

watching her fun - cover - SMALLER
Here is Part One of Watching Her Fun, with a free epub file here, and a mobi file here. The full work, in three parts, is now available on Amazon [US]Amazon [Canada], and Amazon [UK] and other Amazon sites.

I came to high as hell and kind of vague as to where I was and what was happening, but as the room spun back into shape it was clear that this was the reality: My wife, Jenn, was on all fours getting pumped at both ends by two guys I didn’t know, while I was tied to a chair getting my cock sucked by some big-titted Amy she went to school with. It took a few seconds to remember how we got here, and how it all began.



Last year we moved to Newton, a town on the coast near where Jenn went…

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How I Became a Manwhore – Prologue

PB Rider


A lot of this I’m going to be vague or lie about, but the basic thing is all true.

When I was still a kid my mom died, and when I was in high school my dad, in most respects a monumental fuck-up, married this 25-year old, a woman called Jenny. He was already over 50, and she was gone less than two years later, but in that time she’d made quite an impression.

Two things I can tell you about Jenny might explain this, beyond that she was hot as fuck – long legs, slim figure, great smile and wardrobe like a hooker: the time I found her porn, and the time I caught her screwing the pool guy.


Now I was into my stepmom, but I was a regular high school kid and had other interests, so when she and dad went away for a long…

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